#YTFCMeansToMe

I haven't done one of these for a long time. But tonight I saw a tweet asking fans to post what #YTFCMeansToMe. I stopped to think about it. Memories came flooding back.

I grew up in Yeovil, and by the age of about four, I was an Arsenal fan. There's a photo as part of a family montage on the wall at my parents' house: me in full kit, one foot poised on top of an orange and black football...one of those that if there was just a gentle breeze, would blow in any direction bar straight if you kicked it. Next to me, is my Dad. Sporting full on not-quite-the-end-of-the-seventies big hair and beard.

The first time I ever went to see Yeovil Town, was with my Grandad. We sat in the main stand at The Huish. I can remember it so clearly. Walking across the bridge over the dual carriageway from Westland Road. Insisting on stopping each time a car went underneath, as I didn't like heights. If the bridge broke in two, I thought i'd land in front of a car.

Then the walk upstairs, always via the programme seller first, into the old wooden stand. I remember sitting about four or five rows from the back. Behind us, were men older than my Grandad. Who spent every game, in any weather sat with blankets over their knees, smoking pipes. The smell of pipe tobacco instantly takes me back to those moments. Invariably during that period, they spent most of the game berating every Yeovil player with the catch-all "Bloody rubbish nine/four/six." 

At that time, Yeovil played in the Alliance Premier League. And, they were bad. What made it worse, was local rivals Weymouth were better than us. As were Gateshead if I recall right. And they were rubbish too. I'm sure they beat us 5-0 at home once.
It was the first time i'd heard swearing, and the Mary Poppins-esque "Chim, Chiminee, Chim-Chim Cheroo, we hate those bastards in claret and blue." I felt so grown-up whispering those words to myself!

Early in those sporadic home game attending days, we once took my best mate too. We were allowed a packet of mint polos (10p each), then took our seats. During the first half, one of the crossbars snapped in half. Match abandoned. No money back. 

Generations

At a certain point, Dad and I got season tickets. I'll never forget the home game against Sutton United when we beat them in front of over 6,000 fans, squashed into the main stand. Or queuing up between Christmas and New Year for tickets for The FA Cup home game against QPR. St Albans City helped serve up probably the direst game I ever saw (a 0-0 draw) in front of about 8,000 fans. In the cup game itself, as by then I was a bit older, we'd moved over to standing on the half-way line. I still remember Paul Randall's miss. 😢

My boys club Pen Mill asked John McGinley to become our President. He turned up to our end of season awards at a pub at the back of my house, with his hand bandaged up. One of the Dads had been at The Gardens nightclub the evening before, and saw him get involved in a dust up!

When you grow up supporting and watching your home team, the ground takes on a special status. In my final year in the Cub Scouts, something magical happened. Our team St Michaels got to the Cup Final, and we played a team from the Cokers. My Dad was the manager, and remembers due to the sloping pitch, he couldn't see our right winger at the top, from his position in the dug-out.

Unfortunately, we lost 4-1. Rob Hughes, who I later went to school with at Preston, lobbed me three times in goal. His Dad was a former player and managed Yeovil for a while. Rob's older brother later also put Yeovil on the map himself. As part of Shaft, who appeared on Top of the Pops playing Roobard and Custard!

TOTP

Around this time, the group of people we used to stand with started going to away games. John (Mr) Flatters was my PE teacher at school. He and one of his daughters would often join us in a car. Other times Mike Smith would. I think Mike worked with my Dad at Westlands and could have been a stand-up comedian.

During these times, we went to Basingstoke Town to watch an AC Delco Cup Final win against Hayes on a Bank Holiday. The game was memorable for a small wall on the opposite side of the ground collapsing after Yeovil scored a goal. And for a fight in a beer tent behind the goal at half-time. You couldn't see what was happening, but the sides of the tent were bulging like in a kids cartoon. We also ran on the pitch at full-time after winning the second leg of the Bob Lord Trophy at Kidderminster Harriers on a school night. Doing our best David Pleat at Luton Town impressions.

As I got a bit older, I also started to realise that Yeovil had a small group of fans who liked a punch-up and attracted a bit of grief at away games. My U16s captain walked past me with blood pouring out the back of his blond haired head, after someone threw a brick into the away end at Weymouth. The bus in front of us coming home from a brilliant FA Cup win in Hereford travelled back to Somerset with a missing window after another flying brick. And one fan, who became a bit of a cult-celebrity, once got arrested before a pre-season home game against Bournemouth for trying to run across the pitch. I can still remember the crowd cheering as he was dragged to the corner flag by the police, as his trousers fell down, exposing his arse.

It's not coming home

There were also other memories, that all really stand out. A home game against a team from London in the Vauxhall Opel League days. As a player came to take a throw-in, someone a few rows behind me shouted out "you black bastard." Neil Cordice, a black Yeovil Town midfielder walked straight over. The guy behind then said (as if it made it better): "I didn't mean you Neil." The response was one I never forgot: "We're all the same. You abuse him, you abuse me. Think about it." No swearing. No aggression. Zen-like calm. The best lesson you could ever have. Delivered within touching distance.

A match played to celebrate the end of Yeovil's time at The Huish before moving to a new stadium. Barry Fry played in a testimonial match. A helicopter landed on the pitch. No idea why.

I also remember that I had to miss the very final home game ever. My sister was a bridesmaid for the first and only time. We had to go to Bristol. I sulked like mad. (My dad too). And I sat under a table at the reception listening to Radio Bristol. I later missed out on another giantkilling at Walsall (my Dad and his friends went and really rubbed it in) as my best friends took me to see Vic Reeves' Big Night Out live in Bristol.

A new stadium was exciting, but sad at the same time. My Dad went to primary school at Huish, so he wasn't keen on the move either. We went on a tour with Gerry Lock, which you could do as it was being built. We went to the first ever game, a pre-season match against Newcastle United, racing back from Heathrow where we'd picked up my German exchange friend. And finally, inexplicably stood on the away terrace as there was no more space, we watched as promotion to the Football League was sealed.

After leaving Yeovil College, I moved away to University, then to London to work. A small group of friends would always come together to watch Yeovil away. Generally involving trains, beer, and fuzzy memories. And, of course, The FA Trophy win at Villa Park. All of the friends i'd grown up with, sat behind the goal. I'd started work at The FA and could get some tickets. Which also meant I could treat my mum and dad to some hospitality seats, and my Dad could wear a suit, watching Adam Stansfield and Carl Alford send us barmy in the Holte End.

Yet another memory was when I'd been working at The FA for a while. Although I was in the Communications team, we sat with the Marketing colleagues, and one of the guys became a mentor to me. One of his jobs was to organise for people to check The FA sponsor boards for televised games. So when we drew Liverpool at home (still not a penalty Harry), it meant I found a way to come home for another big cup match. Just like when Ian Wright and my equally beloved Arsenal came to Huish Park.

Famous: in the programme

Moving away, meant that I became a disciple of the Ciderspace website. I got to know Hoagy and Badger through message boards and the early days of Twitter. Badger also shared a big love of the band James. I still find look for updates on Twitter, and have to remember he passed on far too early.

When I moved to Zurich to work for FIFA, coming home always coincided with trying to see a game. Taking my kids and nephews to pass a love down the generations. Catching up with old friends and their kids. Almost becoming those same old men from my first games, moaning and groaning at misplaced passes, or another aimless hoof.

When the club sealed their place in a play-off at Wembley, I was following an online stream during a meeting, and let out a '"fucking come on" at the final whistle. Much to the bemusement of some international colleagues; less so to a mate and colleague from Newcastle. When we had the play-off final to go up to the Championship, I persuaded an American friend to connect my laptop to his TV. He watched with a mix of concern and embarassment as I burst into tears at the final whistle. We were going to play one level below the Premier League. Madness.

At the Copacabana

What has happened since, is such a shame. The free-fall on the pitch back to 'non-league' has coincided with lots of murmurings off the pitch. Fans don't seem happy with the owners. A while ago, someone I met at a conference got back in touch and told me they were interested in potentially getting involved in the club in future. Let's see.

For the size of Yeovil as a town to get to the Championship was a miracle. The crowds it historically attracted, the budget it must have had compared to others, means that in my mind, it has no right to be two or three tiers higher than where it is now. However...it's the hope that kills you they say. 

Family memories. Rites of passage. Ian Botham squeezed into the shortest shorts. Jimmy Quinn midfield massacres. Guy Whittingham sent from another planet. Seeing your club jump from Page 318 on Ceefax to the big time. Horrific coffee. Singing "you dirty Northern bastards" to Bristol Rovers fans, then grinning. Remembering how proud you were when your mate's brother played in goal for the Reserves, or Nick and Andy Flory made the first team, when you spent much of your youth playing against them. Pulling on the green and white to see Brazil demolished by Germany 7-1 in Belo Horizonte, and when England beat Colombia on penalties in Moscow. Or seeing Darren Way and Terry Skiverton invite my old man into their office to talk about the new season, after he came out of hospital, thanks to Jimmer.

Dad at Huish Park

What has happened to Bury, could easily happen to other clubs. Could easily happen to Yeovil. It would be horrible to think that the club could fold. When my Grandad got much older, I used to ask him if he wanted to come with Dad and me. His response was always: "They never came to see me when I was bad." Funny the memories you have. And how fresh they are, when you remember what a big part of your life something was. This is what #YTFCMeansToMe.

IS THE EMBRACE REAL?

"My heart is very saddened for my little boy, because there’s gonna be a time and a place for me to speak to him about the world – how the world is gonna be for him as a black man, and I have no words to even put together."

Last summer in France, the eighth FIFA Women’s World Cup broke new records. After an exhilarating final, won by the USA, a little while after the dust had settled, as the players started to let their achievements sink in, my eyes were drawn to Jessica McDonald and a little boy, standing in the middle.

A mother and son, sharing a very special moment, showering each other in the left over ticker-tape. The same son, who McDonald talked about in an excellent piece in The Athletic this week, with seven of the USWNT, by Meg Linehan.

As a father of three kids, that quote hit me. Hard. In the aftermath of George Floyd’s death, I did what I suspect many did. Read. Read some more. Got angry. Sad. Felt guilty. Had some conversations with my kids. 

My rather consistent take on the modern world for at least 12 months has been simple: the world is regressing. The surge in popularity of far right ‘politics’ and parties. Increasing cases of documented discrimination in the UK, fueled by some of the narratives around Brexit. Gay women punched in the face on a night bus in London, the city that was my home for 11 years.

Since 2008 I’ve lived in Switzerland. A country governed by a coalition, where the most popular party since I moved here, had campaign posters that stoke racism and islamophobia. Displayed at bus stops and public advertising boards.

So…where am I going? It’s Saturday evening. And in a true reflection of this sporadic Blog’s name…I’m rambling. By the time I’ve written this and pushed it live, the UK Sunday papers will start to come online. As is the norm in the Mail on Sunday, a journalist who I admire (and on many occasions, guided and supported me on projects I was trying to raise awareness of, when I worked in PR at The FA) will have his weekly column live.

They are generally hotly debated on Twitter. I suspect, tomorrow, he may find an unusually high number of people agreeing with him. Ollie, for those who don't know, has been one of the longest-standing advocates of the Rooney Rule in British sport.

As per his tweet earlier this evening, the question he is asking, is the following:

“Is the embrace of anti-racism by the NFL and FIFA real, or is it just corporate sport’s favoured mode of crisis management?” A topic that Jonathan Liew examined earlier in the week. Before FIFA’s statement was published. And before the NFL’s Roger Goodell published his video.

This is not about calling him out. Just trying to provide a bit of insight, from my viewpoint.
It’s not my place to critique another sports body, whose inner-workings I have no insight into. Where I’m slightly better qualified to write, is in relation to FIFA. Where I have worked since October 2008.

When I first started in the press office, one of my jobs, was to update a factsheet, documenting FIFA’s historical contributions to fighting discrimination. A list of dates and milestones. Yet whenever a small fine was handed out to a Federation whose fans racially abused players in a World Cup qualifier, this factsheet soon lost any credibility. 

In November 2011, approximately 15 months after an historic World Cup in South Africa, which was hoped would help to unite a deeply divided nation, came another memorable blot of the copybook. I remember it like yesterday.

The FIFA President had conducted a TV interview with CNN. The Producer and interviewer I’d got to know well in previous years. As the only mother-tongue English speaker in the press office, it was often me they would call when new stories broke.

Two of my senior colleagues sat in on the interview. And when they returned to the office, I remember clearly asking: “How did it go.” The answer it seemed, was pretty well. Until I asked for a couple of topics. I was curious. What followed next, made me swear. Loudly.

I walked hastily down the corridor, into the room that they were using to edit the piece. Said hello. And one of them said: “Wow Alex. This is going to be big. We’ve just sent the first part over to London. And I’ve just tweeted that this is going to make quite a splash.” It did.

A quote as oft-referenced in the next 8-9 years, as the one about ‘tight shorts’:

"There is no racism. There is maybe one of the players towards another - he has a word or a gesture which is not the correct one. But the one who is affected by that, he should say: 'This is a game. We are in a game, and at the end of the game, we shake hands’."

Just short of three years later, a German guy joined FIFA in a new role: Corporate Social Responsibility Programme Manager (for Equality and Anti-Discrimination).  

Gerd has 20 years experience in football. As an activist working with FARE. The DFB. Curating exhibitions. Speaking at conferences. Writing a Doctorate on Discrimination and Anti-Discrimination in English and German football. Ironically, in 2001, he was invited to the FIFA Congress in Buenos Aires. Where he addressed the world’s football federations. And FIFA made its first declaration in the fight against discrimination. (a bullet point on that factsheet I mentioned earlier).

As part of the CSR team, he has done a huge amount of education work. Travelled around the world to work with Federations. Introduced an annual Diversity Award with a well-respected panel. Supported the development of initiatives such as the ‘three-step procedure.’ And the introduction, with FARE, of anti-discrimination observers at the 2017 Confederations Cup. And in every 2018 FIFA World Cup stadium.

Needless to say, he spent a huge amount of time before that tournament, working in tandem with colleagues on the Local Organising Committee in Russia. Sharing his experience and advocating best practices, to try and ensure a World Cup that in many quarters was feared, would be a celebration. 

A lot of this work seems unknown. It was however, considered more effective than a committee that seldom met, and even more seldom, generated outcomes. Rather overlooked, when a few people share round a link or two on Twitter, is the quote from one of the members: "We never had a single meeting under his chairmanship. I wrote him, more than once, asking for when a meeting would be held. But I never received a reply from him."

That Chairman had got off to a flying start, impressing everyone, myself included, at a media briefing on the sidelines of an IFAB AGM in Edinburgh. The less said, the better.

In 2019, after no update in 15 years, FIFA's Disciplinary Code was also updated. In consultation once again, with FARE. One element of that change, was also the commitment to launch a dedicated FIFA website (legal.fifa.com) where the outcomes of cases would also transparently published. Removing much of the perceived 'cloak and dagger' of gently rapping Federations on the knuckles. 
The work done by a small team in Zurich however cannot change history. It shouldn’t. But, back to Ollie’s question.

On 13 May 2016, FIFA appointed a new Secretary General. In old money, a new CEO.In May 2019, Fatma did an interview with CNN. Them again. This time, the answer to a similar question eight years ago, was slightly different. 

"There are idiots in the life. There are people who think that they want a world where everybody is the same and I think this is totally wrong.

"It's the whole sports world that should be fighting racism," she said. "On the pitch, through communications, through education, through demonstrations, through sanctions. We have all to pull our efforts together to make it happen. But racism has been as old as any other evil in society, and it's for everybody to combat and to fight it. I'm sure in the eyes of some people I was not supposed to be there (at FIFA). But they have to deal with it.”

On Wednesday morning this week, I woke up. As usual, turned on my phone, and scrolled through Twitter. Two tweets were near the top of my timeline. Posted at 3.23am. From Fatma.

“Last week #GeorgeFloyd’s life was brutally taken from him. The footage of #Floyd being restrained by police & saying “I can’t breathe” shocked me to the core & I wish to say this: There is no place for racism anywhere in society nor is there ever any excuse for it.

“The killing of black people by police follows a depressing pattern in US history & this is wrong. #Floyd is not an isolated case, the list is long. It’s about time for the US culture of systematic racism to change. The US can & must do better. Our prayers go to #Floyd’s family.”

As the week developed, a number of former players – Legends – were mobilized by FIFA to spread a simple message: Stop Racism. Stop Violence. Stop Discrimination. It’ll take more than a t-shirt to achieve those things. But when you’re talking about Yaya Toure, Ronaldo & Roberto Carlos, I think they know that already.

So, after nearly 1500 words, I’ve got just a few ones left, to answer the question:
“Is the embrace of anti-racism by FIFA real?”

I think it is. To everyone who read this/got this far, now ask yourself the same question too. Let's make this more than just a black square on your Insta, a blog written late at night, or a newspaper column every few years.

WOMEN'S FOOTBALL. "IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH."

“There is too much talking. I have begun to feel that if it rains in London tomorrow it is my fault. If people don’t like Brexit, it is my fault.”

When I saw these quotes the other weekend, I did have a bit of a laugh. At FIFA, you do often get the feeling too that nothing the organisation could ever do, would be good enough. Criticism is often fair and justified. There are occasions though when you read a few articles and think: “hang on a minute.”

Next summer is the FIFA Women’s World Cup in France. I first watched a game in 2001 when I was at The FA, supporting a brilliant colleague Bev Ward, who recently played a big part in (hopefully) bringing the UEFA Women’s Euros back to England.

Since then, I’ve worked in China in 2007 as England’s press officer. Supported some projects in Germany with FIFA in 2011. And led FIFA’s Social Media content in Canada in 2015.

In the next few hours, two teams from CONCACAF will qualify for France 2019. It could be 3 time winners the US. It could be 2015 hosts Canada. It could be two debutantes: Jamaica and Panama.In recent months, as the big event next summer gets closer, so interest levels have grown a bit. And some old and new topics have come up.

Some countries have made huge strides in developing their development pathways in the last decade. Some others have done very little, or nothing. In the last 12-18 months, players in some of the most traditionally progressive women’s football countries have also put pressure on for more support, refusing to be grateful or settling for what they have. Watching and following online, that takes a huge amount of guts by the players.

So what about FIFA? There was a time when the prevailing quote on how to improve the marketability of the women’s game, was “wear tighter shorts.” There may still be some less than enlightened views around the world. Clearly the culture in some countries will still make it incredibly difficult for the women’s game to develop. Or for women in football to gain greater day-to-day involvement. Let alone roles in leadership.

However. Last week, FIFA launched a new strategy document, with some key targets and objectives to move the global women’s game forward. You can read it here. I’m not so sure everyone has.

Away from that, there is the topic of VAR. It’s been reported FIFA won’t use it. FIFA’s Chief Women’s Football Officer recently said, a decision has not yet been made. Why? A recent article by Gabrielle Marcotti may help explain the factors to be considered.

Having been involved in FIFA comms for goal-line technology, and supported the VAR process, I know this is complex. And i'm always careful not to make claims I cannot back. But one thing any decision will not have anything to do with: gender discrimination.

Then there is Prize Money and other FIFAWWC related funding. It may well be that some figures reported this week (two weeks before the FIFA Council make their final decision) are correct. But there are more funding ‘pots’ beyond the prize money itself. And those were already alluded to a few weeks ago, as you can read here.

There is an assumption (as I’ve read in quotes), that prize money funds grassroots development. And without a bigger pot, this will not enable the game to grow. But this is incorrect too.

FIFA Forward is FIFA’s core development program which sees funding on four year cycles distributed to Confederations and Member Associations. They don’t just receive a blank cheque. They have to apply for the funding. Provide business plans and justifcations. And the auditing process is stronger than ever before, to ensure monies go where they should.

Within this program are key funding streams for women’s football projects. To support leagues. National team and travel. Or to fund regional continental competitions. Such as the CECAFA Women’s Championship. I’m sure many people don’t want to read anything positive about FIFA. But as some reporting is a little inaccurate or economical with facts and figures, I thought I’d try to help.

You can read about Forward funding and all the related regulations here. 

See some examples of women’s football funded projects e.g. $700,000 to develop a women’s league in India: and more than $1million to the English FA for its Wildcats program .

You can also read about some projects and initiatives that have already started, such as in Peru, and tailored conferences and workshops.

The volume of our own articles and content will also increase as this works moves ahead now. Including news of a new program we’ll highlight on FIFA platforms at the end of October. And workshops for South American coaches and administrators that will take place during the U17 Women’s World Cup in Uruguay in mid-November.

This blog started from another ‘bee in my bonnet.’ I’m not trying to say everything is perfect. But perhaps outline there is more going on, than some of you realise. This attempts to aggregate a few things together. Because in the end, it just felt like the right thing for me to do.

Thanks again, if you made it to the end.

FREE YOUR MIND

“Free your mind and the rest will follow.” En Vogue are anything but these days. Nevertheless, as I thought about this, it seemed as good as any a place to start.

This morning I flicked through Facebook and saw a notification from 7 years ago today. At the 2010 FIFA World Cup, I was still less than two years into my new job in the press office.

As the final approached, one afternoon I got a call from a former FA colleague. She was working with the 2018 England bid team, and was going to take a few hours off, to explore Johannesburg. Lucas Radebe, who was working as a Bid Ambassador, was also working for ITV, and had hired a minibus to show some of the crew and commentary team, his ‘home.’ There was a spare seat. Would I like to go?

Holed up in Sandton for the best part of five weeks, I jumped at the chance to see a different side of Johannesburg. It turned out to be one of the best few hours of the whole tournament. 

We travelled to where Lucas grew up. He explained his upbringing, showed us where he grew up playing football, and we toured around a broader area of the city, together with a guide. At one stop, we entered a church. There, many years before, some young black children ended up being chased by white police. We were shown strafe marks on the walls and ceiling. And told what happened next. The story had most of us in tears. Brutality. Violence. Death. The guide then went on to explain about the Truth and Reconciliation Committees that were later formed, and the next day, I bought a book, to learn more.

Why is this interesting or relevant? About 90 minutes earlier today, I had watched the final press conference of the 2017 FIFA Confederations Cup. Whilst VAR and doping were the main two topics on the agenda (as they were approximately a week before), three of the four speakers all declared the event a success.
Working at FIFA, the fact that operationally the event should have proven so, is no surprise. Colleagues and their Local Organising Committee counterparts plan at the most micro-level across many, many levels. The width of the organizational chart (which can be found pinned to the wall on one level of FIFA’s building) actually spans the width of two double offices.

However, whilst the number of visiting fans may have been much lower than for a World Cup, and the scale of everything is smaller, there have been other encouraging signs these last couple of weeks.

Fans from Cameroon visited. They had a good time. Were safe. I read articles in Australian media that some of their fans were actually delayed getting to one match, as the locals kept wanting to stop and speak to them. Not quite the image sometimes portrayed. That travelling to Russia could be to take your life in your own hands. (I remember the Panorama documentary pre-Euro 2012 too). In addition, at every game (as there will be next summer too) there have been multilingual anti-discrimination observers.

British and German media have been on-site in healthy numbers. Many gave credit where it was due, praising operational areas, the cities, and the people. If there had been any trouble, they would have been duty bound to cover it. You would have read about it. Nick Ames, a journalist who I always enjoy reading - as he veers off most beaten paths - has been particularly interesting to follow on Twitter.

Next summer there will be more visitors. There will be more security. More entertainment for fans, e.g. the always-popular Fan Fests. Russia is a huge country. Certainly one of many extremes.A Mail on Sunday piece last weekend ventured towards one of the country’s borders, and found a rural backwater where World Cup investment will not make a difference to the lives of those living there.

Comparative studies detailing where urban infrastructure could have been improved (instead of shelling out on the frippery of a mega sporting event) are a common (and fair) analogy to draw every four years. Ironically, and tragically, had England won the vote to stage 2018, overseas media may have been writing this past fortnight about how our own money could have maybe helped prevent the Grenfell Tower disaster. Or asking, will Muslim visitors be safe in British cities, after the horrific (and seemingly under-reported) acid attack in East London. (You can always find something to attack, if you are so minded)

Ever since the announcement that Russia would host next year’s World Cup, the scare stories have had a demonstrable impact on many of the fans whose comments I see daily in my job, on FIFA Social Media accounts.

I would never try to pretend that everything is perfect. That no-one visiting next summer will not encounter a single problem. However, the reality, versus the perception, told by those who have visited four of the cities this summer, suggests that perhaps people will be able to enjoy themselves after all.

Russian people are friendly. Helpful. Inquisitive. Volunteers, as at every major event will do their best to help you. As I know only too well from my own job, FIFA, the LOC and other stakeholders are ever more determined to try to provide better services and experiences for fans, to help make their experience as enjoyable as possible.

“Why oh why must it be this way

Before you can read me you gotta learn how to see me, I said
Free your mind and the rest will follow.”

En Vogue might have had a point. 7 years ago, I could easily have stayed in the office, or flopped on my Sandton Hotel bed for a power nap. Instead, I decided to take a trip on a minibus in Johannesburg, opened my own mind, and ended up having an unforgettable experience.

If you are going to Russia next summer, follow the usual rules and suggestions when you visit new places. But free your mind. It might just lead to moments you never expected. And also never forget.

IT’S A FUNNY OLD GAME

Following events of the last week, the Saturday lunchtime catchphrase of Jimmy Greaves sprung to mind. Although if you care, it doesn't feel funny at all.

FIFA - The Fédération Internationale de Football Association  "has 211 member associations and its goal, enshrined in its Statutes, is the constant improvement of football." In my almost nine years, football is often the last thing FIFA is associated with.

FIFA has been 'bashed' for years. Spawned books. I first read 'Goal' back in 2007, on the flight to the 2007 FIFA Women's World Cup draw. I was happy that the people who I then saw in real life, that dragged the name of where I work lower than a snake’s belly, finally got their comeuppance.

This week I was not in Bahrain, but Zurich. An old hangover of having worked in the press office for 4 ½ years, my Google Alerts were on overdrive. New stories are still appearing. Sentiment analysis would struggle to put too many in the ‘positive’ or ‘neutral’ category.

On Thursday I listened to the FIFA Congress in my office. Watched the keynote speech. Saw a part of Twitter light up by the Sports News correspondents there. Many of them have tried to hold FIFA to account for many years. Many I know well. Respect. I also know they don’t rejoice in the stories they often write. Well, not too many!

Later when I got home (bear with me), I saw an article in The Guardian. It described how Jeremy Corbyn’s ‘leaked’ Labour manifesto was the best thing since sliced bread. Sadly, due to the power of the Tory media, and the (perceived) lack of ‘wow factor’ of Corbyn, there was little chance of a tidal wave of support for it. It made me think. In recent times, the oratory, fear-mongering and clownishness of the likes of Trump, Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage has swayed huge opinion, and lead to some seismic decisions affecting millions and millions of people.

So (coming back to where I rambled off) when I listened to the FIFA President speak in Manama, then saw the reaction, part of me understood why I read what I read. However, it also made me think: are people really fully listening anymore? Some of us joke that even if FIFA announced it had found the cure for every form of Cancer, some reports would still be negative.

Since my early days at The FA, trying to find creative ways (and boring the hell out of patient journalists with my over-eager ‘pitches’) I’ve often realized one of the contradictions of elite football. On one hand, the aim is to develop football. On the other, the way business sometimes must be done is to organize glitzy, high-budget events, involving lots of suits staying in nice hotels. Money that could also buy boots and ball. And this, is where, after 500+ words (unsurprisingly for me!), I get to my point.

At FIFA, we are the guardians of a game played by more than 300 million people. FIFA is not just about politics. Committees. They DO play a role. Yet they meet 3-4 times a year. The rest of the work is done by 500+ professional employees in Zurich.

This week, one of my colleagues was in Brazil, speaking at a conference alongside huge names of men’s football. And CONMEBOL’s Head of Women’s Football Development. Trying to help drag a country that boasts Marta, forward into creating structures (and jettisoning years of malpractice) to create more Marta’s in the future. Maybe leading to a first FIFA Women’s World Cup star on that yellow jersey.

Another colleague has 20 years of background in fan activism, fighting every form of societal discrimination imaginable. I bumped into him this week meeting FARE. Despite the wording of a letter that announced the disbandment of FIFA’s Anti-Discrimination Taskforce (there is as always, a different story behind this), does it really mean FIFA doesn’t care about tackling discrimination? To quote my old FA boss David Davies: “Off-the-record: Bollocks. On-the-record: Bollocks.” I sent direct messages on Twitter in midweek urging two hugely influential and senior British media to request a chat with this colleague, and his boss. Find out the truth. Whether they did or not, I don’t know. But you can read a lot about his work here.

Another colleague was in Ukraine, helping educate coaches on developing Futsal, so they can spread their knowledge within local communities. Educate more coaches, and inspire more young kids to play, especially during freezing cold winters.

Some of the much debated FIFA Legends played football with some kids in Bahrain. Met fans in Sochi. And next week, will help launch the sale of tickets for the FIFA U17 World Cup in India, and meet kids at a grassroots festival, part of the tournament’s intended legacy to introduce 11 MILLION boys and girls in schools, to football. As Rob Harris of AP tweeted late on Thursday, when he actually spoke to a few: they enjoy doing this. And learning more what we do. Like Alex Scott who i've known for years. She had her eyes well and truly widened in Papua New Guinea.

In the job I’ve now done for four years, leading Social Media, there is, as ever, a huge opportunity to shed a better light on who FIFA really is. We’ll still be dragged down by stories, like that of the former Guam FA President. But we'll keep fighting to show the other, less shiny side of the coin. Not front or back page news. But the 'real' FIFA.

After the former President left FIFA, I was half-minded to try and get five votes to be able to stand as a Presidential candidate, with a manifesto that was exclusively written by FIFA staff. I discussed the idea with with my Dad; thought I may even have had a chance. Just to get a different message, and different image across about the organisation, and where WE thought it needed to improve. But I thought a boy from Yeovil may have forgotten his place. So the idea flickered and faded.

On stage in Bahrain, our new President said: "If there is anyone in this room or outside, who still thinks that he can enrich himself and abuse football, I have one clear and strong message to tell him. Leave. Leave football. And leave football now. We don't want you." Amen to that.

Being the leader of anything is harder than it looks. It's easy to criticise from the outside. Pick over anything and everything. But you have to make decisions; have a thick skin at times. Indecision and paralysis by over-anaylsis is also not what FIFA needs right now.

I remain optimistic. I love what I do. Know it can be so much better. I read and see fan comments every day, that acknowledges there are many different sides to FIFA. Helping to make the organisation ever-better, drives many of us daily. We'll keep trying.

If you made it this far, thank you. Have a great weekend.

THE ONLY JOURNEY, IS THE ONE WITHIN

On the way home tonight, I was listening to Public Service Broadcasting’s ‘Everest.’ As the last bars fade out, a voice asks: “Why should a man climb Everest?” And the same man answers: “Because it is there.”

Tariq Panja once told me: “with all the things that you’ve seen or heard, you should keep a diary, and publish a book one day.” Recent attempts by others probably mean mine would not be a best seller. By occasionally blogging, it's an outlet, to share a few stories. Today, I met someone trying to climb his Everest.

More than 16 years ago, I joined The Football Association in the first ever Customer Relations Unit. My foot in the door owed something to a lucky connection with someone I worked with previously in a Sloane Street secretarial recruitment company. And despite nervously calling myself a ‘carrot cruncher’ in the interview, Mark Sudbury still took a chance on me!
Today, I met finally, face-to-face, Jeronimo Diaz Tomic. He’s worked in football before. In Chile. In Australia. Now he wants to work for FIFA. In September, he cycled 1215km from Toulouse, in the South of France, where he lives with his wife and son. He took 25 days, via UEFA and IOC HQs, to deliver a letter and CV, expressing his dream to work in sport. On the way, he camped. Sometimes, he slept in fields. He then delivered his letter and CV to FIFA reception. Then left again. He documented his journey in an incredible video.

He found me on Twitter shortly after that trip, and we struck up a rapport. This was a guy who so badly wanted to get his foot in the door, as I did 16 years ago. I thought it deserved to be known about. So I posted a few tweets.

As his story was picked up in French media, we started to discuss the idea of him visiting FIFA. He would plan his journey, in order to find a cheap train fare. This afternoon, he finally arrived through the Zurich fog, after a journey from Toulouse, via Paris. 15 hours. Overnight. We did a mini tour of FIFA HQ. We visited the Committee room. The ‘Meditation’ room, - where visitors who need a quiet place to pray, can do so in peace – and our TV studio.

Over lunch, we tried to further nail down what would be his ‘dream job.’ Jeronimo presented me with a book. Hardback. Stunning photography. Produced and crowd-funded, by people who like me, could see something special. As we talked, he also did a bit of filming. Jeronimo explained that the bicycle he came to Zurich with in September had been sold. The drone, with which he filmed, had also been sold. Instead, he’d bought a new camera, and was testing out new ways to document his journey, in the same way he hoped in future, he may document FIFA projects.

He also had two more books he wanted to leave for the FIFA President and Secretary General. I told him I’d introduce him to a few people. Then we’d leave the books. But we got a bit bold!

After delivering one photo book to a good friend who works in the Presidential Office, we walked to the other side of the building. By then, I had the sales pitch for Jeronimo well-rehearsed. Just as I started to make my pitch to one of the SG’s team, she said: “I think we can do better than that.”

Fatma arrived. Invited us into her office. They chatted. We showed her Jeronimo’s video. And he explained why he wanted to work for FIFA. Why he’d been inspired to cycle 1215km, in the hope he might one day get to realise his dream.

The look on his face, as we chatted downstairs afterwards and hugged, was one I hope to see again. It was flushed with a happiness and, a puzzlement almost, as if the last half an hour hadn’t really happened. There have been few highlights, and many more lowlights in the last two years, but this afternoon was special. Because I met a special human being. 

Two days ago, Jeromino posted another video. He said he would not give up, until his story reached the right person. After today, I was reminded that if you find an ‘Everest’ in front of you, you could be beaten immediately. Alternatively, you can think of possible ways to conquer it. There are many cod-philosophical ways I could try to end this blog. However, one quote stands out from Mark Twain: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” I hope we started something for Jeronimo today.

SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS

It has been more than a year since my last blog. The fact that this one is titled after a Blazing Squad lyric does not bode well! But bear with me.

This morning I flew back to Zurich, after my second week-long spell in Jordan during the last month. If you didn't know, Jordan hosted the FIFA U17 Women's World Cup. It involved 16 teams, who played 32 matches between 30 September and 21 October. Last night, Korea DPR beat Japan on penalties, to win the fifth edition of the tournament.

These games were not shown too widely on TV. We tried our best to connect fans via FIFA's Social Media channels, and our website. Away from Zurich, and the launch of the new FIFA Vision, the staff who worked as professionally as ever in Jordan were a little out of sight, out of mind. After all "it's only an U17 Women's World Cup." But was it?

At the beginning of this month, I clocked up my eighth year at FIFA. I would be lying if I said that in the last couple of years, the thought of leaving FIFA had not crossed my mind. I was at a real crossroads. Sometimes, the negativity swirling around got too much. I care. Care about my work. Care about trying to change something, however small. And I believe, despite the endless stream of lurid global newspaper articles, there are people I work with, who also work bloody hard to try and make a difference.

The FIFA U17 Women's World Cup in Jordan was a first. The first FIFA women's competition in the Middle East. It was the first international tournament Jordan had ever hosted. And, due to the host team's participation, it would be the first FIFA tournament where any active female player had worn a 'headscarf', to be able to play elite football.

Jordan (to quote Wikipedia) "is is an Arab kingdom in Western Asia, on the East Bank of the Jordan River. Jordan is bordered by Saudi Arabia to the east and south, Iraq to the north-east, Syria to the north, Israel, Palestine and the Dead Sea to the west and the Red Sea in its extreme south-west. Jordan is strategically located at the crossroads of Asia, Africa and Europe."

If Jordan is located at a geographical crossroads, many would argue that since 2015, FIFA itself has been at a crossroads. The view of many - some very well informed, others far less so - was that FIFA as an organisation was rotten to its core. And therefore, by association, that also meant me. My colleagues. And anyone else who worked there.

In recent years i've tried to use Twitter as an outlet to try to tell people (as much as I could, based on what I knew), the difference between 'perception and reality.' Often I would be criticised. On one occasion, a former mentor kindly DMd me to tell me perhaps I should take a break. He suggested maybe I was "trying too hard. That people didn't want to listen." The clear message was that people had made their minds up. And I was wasting my time. He of course had a valid point. But my point, was that on a day-to-day basis, life in Zurich was different. Very different. Beyond the opulent reception, were two floors of offices. And sat among those for example, were a very small group, working on the development of women's football.

After last night's game and the trophy lift, I wanted to sample the last bit of atmosphere. As I walked towards the light at the end of the player's tunnel, players from both teams walked past me. North Korean girls giggled, medals hanging round their necks. Some were in tears. Then, as I got nearer the field, the Japan team started to walk past me en masse. Every single player was in tears. One, who brought up the rear, was crying in an utterly uncontrollable way. Indelible images. The tournament mattered. It really mattered.

So, after this very circuitous build-up, I just wanted to tell you a few things that colleagues of mine did in Jordan. That shows this tournament mattered to them too. And it may help a few of you change your mind about FIFA. Maybe.

All these projects fall under the bracket 'legacy.' That word, especially to a group of British Sports News journalists, whose work I admire greatly, has long been overused related to sports events. But in Jordan, tangible things were done, that went way beyond just re-painting a few walls, or screwing in some new seats.

FIFA discussed how this could be done with the LOC from Day 1. Colleagues like Tatjana, Rebecca, Mayi, Arijana and Honey and Sego. There's not many of them. Every Monday, for months, a group sat together in Zurich, and brainstormed ideas. I was one of them too. Brainstorming is the easy part. But, could something tangible be delivered? The LOC, guided by FIFA decided that 75% of all staff who would deliver the tournament, would be women. Who would be educated. Trained. And be able to do this kind of work again. People like former player Farah Al-Badarneh, who oversaw all stadium work.

FIFA Live Your Goals festivals were organised across the tournament with the Jordan FA. The aim: simply to introduce more young girls to football. Hopefully, many would continue to play recreationally. Whilst others may become part of a player pyramid, and go on to play for their country.

A seminar was set up to bring senior representatives from other Middle Eastern countries together. To share ideas. To review potential and future women’s football development in West Asia. Strategic planning, promotion, youth and league development.

As the tournament got nearer, discussions during the summer turned towards refugees. Jordan had seen its population swell by more than 1.5million refugees from Syria over the last 4-5 years. And some of them lived in a huge camp, called Al Zataari. Discussions lasted for weeks. Our worry was that anything we tried to do, would be viewed cynically. Cheap PR. That we (FIFA) "didn't mean it."


In the end, after some incredibly complex negotiations, something was approved. Some of the colleagues named above organised the logistics. And one of our VJs was allowed to film it. What she saw, haunted her. A colleague from a anice Swiss family, suddenly face-to-face with the daily realities of a refugee camp. Another colleague, who became the first captain of the female Palestinian national team, had a different perspective. She knows what it's like to cling onto hope. Footballs and t-shirts were dispatched. A football festival was organised. The FIFA U17 Women's World Cup trophy was taken to the camp. And for just a few hours, a range of agencies came together, to do something amazing. My VJ colleague came home 3 days later and edited this video. I don't think she stopped crying the whole time.

In fact, no-one who was involved could get the experience, or the images out of their minds. So a new round of discussions started in Zurich. Some of the young girls had asked if it would be possible to watch a game, once the tournament got underway. The problem, is that once you are in a refugee camp, it's incredibly difficult to get permission to leave. Remarkably, once again, some of my colleagues performed a minor miracle. And 250 young children were invited to Jordan's - their adopted country - first game. Some of the girls who were involved in the original festival came.

As news arrived that the girls' bus had got to the stadium, my VJ colleague suddenly reached into a rucksack. She had brought a small teddy bear for one girl in particular. Some colouring pencils. A colouring book with Swiss alpine scenes. Some chocolate for her mum. And a small mini football with a Swiss flag embossed on it, for her brother. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. Again. Because I know just how much this young girl had got under her skin. Into her brain. Before the game, we spoke to some of the girls. We made another short video. And as they left, we all sat in a small office. And agreed that although it wasn't much, we had done something. The day before I flew home, I read The Sun wanted to fire Gary Lineker for his views on refugees. Hmmm.

As the tournament progressed, so more and more events were organised. A regional coaching workshop with 16 Middle Eastern females. Another Live Your Goals festival. And at the wrap-up press conference, a video was shown which displayed many more areas of legacy that the tournament had helped deliver. The Bronze medal match was refereed by a woman from Ethiopia. One of the Assistant Referees for the Final, was from India.

In less than a month, the FIFA U20 Women's World Cup will be played in Papua New Guinea. Preparations have not always been straightforward. But again, legacy has been a key element in discussions, to try and ensure that however the home team fare - and like Jordan, the odds are heavily stacked against them, in their own FIFA women's tournament debut - PNG will leave it's own legacy. And already, more women, are being trained, to deliver key roles, crucial to the tournament's success.

The sun has now set on Jordan. In 2018, the country will host the AFC Women's Asian Cup. It's no coincidence that Moya Dodd - who has done wonders for women's football, and women in FIFA the last 18 months - was an integral member of the AFC committee. She knows there are stadia in Jordan now ready. Training sites ready, the majority FIFA approved Football Turf pitches (aka astroturf), that can survive Jordan's incredibly dry climate, and chronic water shortage. She knows, that a genuine legacy has been created.

FIFA was at a crossroads. In many people's opinions, it is still there. The future will not be straightforward. The past will continue to raise its head, as we saw only this week, with the latest pleas in the US. But, the next time someone mentions FIFA, and you jump to add the word 'corruption', 'mafia' or something similar, maybe, just maybe, this blog may help you to understand that there is another side of the organisation. It's less well known. Never going to make back page headlines or the 10 o'clock news. But it's real. I'm very proud to be a small part of it, when we can deliver something like this. And I hope, this will be the type of story we can tell more and more in future.

Thanks for reading (and apologies if you made it this far). I'll maybe see you at the next crossroads.
Alex